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Top Ten DC Earthquake Jokes

24 Aug
Top Ten DC Earthquake Jokes

1. The earthquake should not have been a surprise, S&P predicted default would shake the country!

2. After the earthquake yesterday Obama and the DNC discovered three new faults: 1. Bush’s fault, 2. Tea party’s fault and, 3. Not my fault.

3. The rumbling felt on the Eastern Seaboard was confirmed as an entire Mountain of Debt which came crashing down in Washington.

4. Man that wasn’t an earthquake, Obama just dropped his wallet.

5. I see that S&P has downgraded the earthquake a notch to 5.7.

6. When I prayed for a shakeup in Washington I guess that I should have worded it differently.

7. The earthquake is the agitation cycle of God’s washing machine. Hurricane Irene is the spin cycle.

8. That wasn’t an Earthquake in D.C., it was Obama’s approval rating falling.

9. It wasn’t a quake, it was a $14.6 Trillion check bouncing.

10. It wasn’t a quake, it was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves!

*Personal note: I will require stimulus funds to rebuild…

Listen to the recorded show HERE.

 
45 Comments

Posted by on August 24, 2011 in Brazen3, Free Market

 

45 Responses to Top Ten DC Earthquake Jokes

  1. James Hanks

    August 24, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    Sarah Palin has apparently succeeded in shaking things up in Washington.

     
  2. Becky

    August 24, 2011 at 10:21 pm

    The earthquake was caused by the founding fathers turning over in there graves!

     
  3. Becky

    August 24, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    their graves! Sorry!

     
    • Irene

      August 25, 2011 at 7:00 am

      That is great! Loved it

       
  4. Chuck Corcoran

    August 24, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    I heard it was Bush’s Fault

     
  5. Scott Boudreau

    August 24, 2011 at 10:39 pm

    That was not an earthquake. The mouth of Hell opened up and they want Obama back.

     
    • Quickbeam

      August 24, 2011 at 11:04 pm

      Nah! It was the doors of Hell SLAMMING SHUT – even THEY want nothing to do with King O!

       
    • Millie Markoff

      August 24, 2011 at 11:15 pm

      love this

       
  6. Wanda Harkins

    August 24, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Too funny! Why didn’t I think of these as well as Letterman?

     
  7. Rob

    August 24, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    That wasn’t an earthquake it was the illegal alien flood gates opening.

     
  8. James Travis

    August 24, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    Obama was about to ask for 110M to right the chair, but then realized it was white

     
    • Steve

      August 25, 2011 at 3:43 am

      LMAO !!!!

       
  9. DaleW

    August 24, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Don’t be alarmed, DC. That was just the rest of the country shifting to the right.

     
    • sunkgleska

      August 25, 2011 at 12:45 am

      excellenttttttttttttttttttttttttt

       
    • Pauline

      August 25, 2011 at 1:25 am

      Gotta love this!!!! :)

       
    • 3nailsgavemeliberty

      August 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

      My favorite one on this page ! ;D

       
    • Melissa

      August 27, 2011 at 7:37 pm

      NICE!!!

       
  10. Kevin

    August 24, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    The Tea Party caused the earthquake using their latest terrorist weapon

     
  11. Chris

    August 24, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    Obama is to blame for the earthquake; he promised a 4.6 but we got a 5.8.

    Marian Barry is looking for the crack the earthquake left behind.

    The earthquake isn’t Obama’s fault. He doesn’t have enough gravity to pull it off.

     
  12. JonM

    August 24, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    #4 should read: Man that wasn’t an earthquake, Michelle Obama just dropped her purse. She was loaded with tax dollars for her next vacation.

    And as far as #7, spell check is your friend.

     
  13. Tony Passaglia

    August 24, 2011 at 11:14 pm

    It really is surprising there aren’t more Tea Party comedians on the circuit.

     
  14. Todd

    August 24, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    The earthquake has a higher approval rating than Obama.

     
  15. Greg Still

    August 24, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    I read that the earthquake interuppted Obama’s golf game. It’s nice to see that SOMETHING can interupt his playing golf. Nothing else has.

     
  16. valiegal

    August 25, 2011 at 12:18 am

    It was Obama’s plans back-firing.

     
  17. Mary Jo Anhalt

    August 25, 2011 at 5:16 am

    The right side of the Left Coast is laughing. We survived a 6.5.

     
  18. Carolyn Anderson Taylor

    August 25, 2011 at 5:24 am

    God will confirm His Word!

     
  19. Tj

    August 25, 2011 at 5:27 am

    Michelle sits down for a “healthy” lunch ,,, and everyone panics! Geez.

     
  20. Lynda Thompson

    August 25, 2011 at 7:53 am

    These would have been funny, but the earthquake’s epicenter was not in DC. It was in a small town named Mineral VA and the people there were very affected by the earthquake. Businesses might have to close for good, schools were damaged and won’t reopen for some time, historical homes were heavily damaged, most homes were damaged. People in this area of the country do not have earthquake insurance. The earthquake was not a joke for this area.

     
    • Lighten up

      August 25, 2011 at 2:09 pm

      “Don’t take life so seriously you’ll never get out alive” great quote from a great movie, apply it, yes its serious but its not like anyone died, buildings can be rebuilt.

       
    • Thomas Gerard Elsken

      August 25, 2011 at 4:05 pm

      We have BIG ones on the West Coast all the time. People are devastated but LEARN to fix their own problems. A sense of humor is always welcome…….

       
    • Chris

      August 25, 2011 at 5:22 pm

      I live 5 miles of the coast of south Mississippi and i laugh about Katrina. It’s just to relieve stress. And plus, i wasn’t complaining about being out of school for over a month.

       
  21. Barry Hopkins

    August 25, 2011 at 8:50 am

    It’s called dark humor, Lynda. Often used to relieve tension. “the earthquake epicenter was not in DC”. So what? The whole Eastern Seaboard felt it. The Washington Monument is damaged. Lighten up a little. Being easily offended is a sign of immaturity. I suspect you don’t like the jokes because a lot of them poke fun at Obama and his ilk.
    .

     
  22. John Pachuca

    August 25, 2011 at 9:05 am

    Man our leaders our leading us Americans right into the path of danger ( all of our resourses are taken up all ready) the Red Cross Bless their hearts they r trying 2 help, iran is sneakin up on us n the chinaman is n our faces,mexicans r walking across,africans r bringing monkey meat,diseases n mixed mistreated hungry children in masses n every city, # 7. NEXT TIME GOD WILL use the washboard, texas is the dryer…i heard that nobama was asleep at the very moment the quake hit..he’s dreaming of money..n the tea partiers wer

     
  23. Steve Daly

    August 25, 2011 at 9:08 am

    Funny and accurate stuff!!!!

     
  24. Jeremy Harding

    August 25, 2011 at 10:22 am

    Atlas shrugged.

     
  25. Mark McDowell

    August 25, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    The federal government has just put together a congressional bipartisian committee to study the effects of the quake on the chair itself and to find out why it fell backwards, not to the right or left. They intend to take ground samples from the area the event occured and have it analyzed by a group of scientists at MIT, who believe earthworms played a key role in the ground destabilization. They hope to find out why the worms choose the area under that chair and hope to study different color chairs with different weights. It’s also hoped that the study will answer the endearing question of why worms mate and how that act may have actually caused the quake. All at an estimated cost of $1.78 billion dollars. FEMA has also been contacted to provide assistance in the removal of the old chair and replace it with a more quake resistant chair developed by the pentagon at a cost of $6.3 million. Removal and replacement should be completed by early January 2012.

     
  26. superdefective

    August 25, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    “It wasn’t a quake, it was the founding fathers rolling over in their graves!”

    Sounds like the zombie apocalypse is coming sooner than I thought…

     
  27. David Barton

    August 25, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    GOP to try to lower taxes on upper income bracket, or as they like to call them, “earthquake preventers.”

    Rick Perry holds press conference to tell Americans “Don’t worry about earthquakes. Plate Tectonics is just a theory that’s out there.”

    Michelle Bachmann sends out her prayers to the earthquake afflicted people of Wyoming.

    Bachmann to hold event to “Pray away the quake.”

     
    • Reed

      August 25, 2011 at 9:31 pm

      David – Now that’s funny!!

       
  28. MichaelEdits

    August 25, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    Hey, I bet somebody tells us Nostradamus predicted it. Or Revelations. Or both.

     
  29. David Freeman

    August 25, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    This is just part of Obama’s job plan to be announced after Labor Day. He will now take credit for all the unemployed Tea Partiers find jobs as commedians on the internet!

     
  30. Suzie Saltz

    August 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    I heard it was not really an earthquake, it was Michelle Obama learning ZUMBA!!

     
  31. **JavaGirlsLife**

    August 25, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    My cousins live in VA and they said their things fell all over the place in their garage. They are fine and so are we up here in South Jersey. Sure, it was a scare for a lot of people, but it’s good to be able to “balance” your mental and emotional mind by being able to laugh about it. I like this post and sure made me laugh–especially with a catagory 3 hurricane coming here in 2 days. Loved the post!!

     
  32. bibo

    August 26, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Y’all are all wrong! Obama was on the golf course. That was him hitting his first “Hole In One”

     

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